My cousin John-on-a-Stick makes an interesting point:  It would be cool to be retarded.

All you have to do is sit there and drool and make wierd "drr-DUR" noises and everyone will just look at you and consider that normal.  No worries.  No goals to aspire to.  No need to wipe your own butt.  No need to take care of yourself, at all.  It would be like a dream come true to wake up one day and just be retarded.

But then, there's the boredom issue.  I pretty much have too many interests to just be retarded all day.  What if I want to enjoy a good movie?  Or take a dame out on the town?  Or just cruise around Phoenix looking at new freeway construction?  Or read the encyclopedia for fun?

Maybe I should just leave being retarded to the retards. : (